Yo eyeballs – over here!

Summer is here and the best way to get back at that bastard sun for making your skin welt and your taint melt is to pick up some merch so hot it burns the sizzling gas-bag back!

The Hunter Collins summer collection of T-shirts and tank tops features a graphic based on his trademark bit about the best line in movie history. That distinction belongs to a henchman who screams “POINT [YOUR] TITTIES NORTH AND STEP ON THE GAS!” in the Jean-Claude Van Damme masterpiece Hard Target“.

Unisex T-shirts ($25 + shipping) are available in three different colors: “Monkey Booger Green”, “Cheeto Finger Heathered Orange”, and “Steer Tuchus Black” (also featured in a women’s cut). The shirts are Gildan Softstyle tees and they make you feel like you’re breastfeeding god herself.

Unisex tank tops ($30 + shipping) come in two colors: “Fancy Meth Blue” and “Dead Racing Dog Heathered Grey”. The tanks are elite quality Bella + Canvas jersey tank tops, ideal for any gender and they’re so soft they make Mumford & Sons look like Suge Knight.

Hit the merch tab at the top of the page or click the picture below to check out the store!

Hunter Collins summer t-shirt and tank top collection – so color!