Hunter Collins

Have you ever been in a confined plane, subway or even a movie theatre while a whole-ass movie is playing when some unhinged psycho starts blaring their phone as if they’re the only sentient creature on this planet? It can be daunting to confront them, especially since these cretins are often drooling barbarians with pistols sticking out of their waistbands and more mustard on their shirts than shirt.

Well, shiver in frustration no more, fair reader! I, a practised passive-aggressive coward, have engineered a musical response to any homunculus who dares shatter your peace with the shrill, low-fi tones of a Mexican game show Instagram clip, indie trance Gregorian chant trip-hop, or Fran Drescher interview. Just download the song below and blast it back at those rude maniacs. It’s a coward’s war out there… and someone has to fight it.